THE BILLY PROJECT
The Merriam Story
Story Findings
This is a funny one. But it also really reveals the confusing line between what is behavior learned at home, and what is a sign of a developmental disability? Does poor discipline count as special needs?
I think it also reveals adult’s preconception that behavioral issues are “manipulative” in kids. That they are “attention seeking” and that is a behavioral issue. When really, it is possible it stems from a deeper place that needs to be fixed systemically, not symptomatically. This brings up the question: What behavior qualifies for extra help?
There is also a pivotal story of change here. Laura identifies the change of setting and lack of consistency that kids are going through during this quarantine.
Laura: I have that with Merriam too. Her parents think she is possessed and have tried to do exorcisms on her. I don’t believe she is. But she makes these faces, and when she went to Good News Club, they wouldn’t like it when she was there because she would be naughty and change her voice and say “I don’t like you” *in a dark and possessed voice*. Her mom thinks that’s a spirit inside of her and she needs to have an exorcism. When she tried that with me, I told her “Knock that off” and she said “fine” and was back to normal. So I think that she’s enabled at home, and she’s taken what her parents think about her for her benefit. She’s super smart. :But I think she manipulates her parents. She isn’t on a behavior IEP and her parents are really struggling at home with her right now because she is refusing to do any work. When she’s at home, she can get away with things a lot. But when she is at school she can't. It’s a different kind of parent involvement in that way.
Me: How have your students with IEPs been doing with online transition?
Laura: With Merriam’s parents, she will communicate with the special ed teacher, but not directly with me. The SE will share the issues with me that the parents have at home. It’s just like what happened in class. The parents are feeling frustrated. The chosen to focus only on what they want to teach. She used to be a home school mom, so she is only doing her own curriculum and some of the SE behavioral curriculum, but my stuff that I am sending is just extra fluff. So she’s doing whatever she wants with her child, which is fine, but then she also wonders why it’s a struggle when she is going from one structure to another to another. There’s no consistency at home. She would go from my routine that she was used to at school, and then her mom just created her own routine.